February 2012
1 tag
[[I’ve gotta sleep
Dadbert, feel free to leave another message, I’ll get to it after work tomorrow
For everyone else, goodnight. <3
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
“Right.” You were going to take a seat, but suddenly a little furry would be assassin is on you. Of course it’s just Dawon with the meow beast’s impeccable timing of walking in the worst place at the best time for an accident. You reach down and scratch behind her ears briefly before picking her up and sitting, putting her down on your lap. “Hey you. How you been, girl?”
...
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
Movies always seem like a safe bet to you, so you nod your head. “That’s probably a good place to start.”
“Kay. I’ll pick a good one. You sit down and I’ll start it up.” As you step back to set things up, Dawon winds her way between Karkat’s legs, purring and rubbing against him.
5 tags
[[random headcanon
I actually put this out a while ago, but it was in tags and not many people saw it
During the Vietnam War, John would be the good red-blooded American who signs up underage to go fight “Those damn Vietkong!” and is KIA
Dave gets drafted and comes back with PTSD
Rose is the girl who loses her hometown boyfriend and joins the movement against The Man
Jade is the...
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
You snort. “Haven’t we all. I think any of us familiar with Egbert have.” You sigh, really having no idea what to do now that you’re here, which kind of sucks, but seems about par for the course for you. You rarely seem to know what you’re doing anymore with anyone.
“You wanna just watch a movie? Take it easy?” You didn’t want to push things.
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
“So you said. And yet here I am. Guess I’m just full of surprises tonight. There’s always the obvious things. Or we could just go…” You trail off as you’d had a pretty good idea, and then realized that was no longer an option.
You know where he was going with that. It makes your stomach squeeze a little, but you ignore it easily enough. “I’m up for...
Anonymous asked: David, are you alright? You seem a bit nervous.
2 tags
[[ this John is so perfect you don’t undersTAND
YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!
▼: hahaha. detention sucks, seriously what are we suppose to do in here? and it’s friday, i’m being cock teased by the weekend here.
▲: damn you got reception in the detention hall how the hell did you manage that
▼: back seat wayyyyy in the corner has pretty...
1 tag
thatmethodtomymadness:
I see you driving
round town with the girl i love
and i’m like, haiku.
Anonymous asked: Oh, you'd like me to continue?
Anonymous asked: (...) After many moments of jaw and neck kisses, I'd wrap my legs around your waist and bite my lip as I ride you. The cherry blush that spreads across your face would be incentive to keep me going for a while. Our hips would grind against each other, every curve and groove fitting together like missing puzzle pieces.
Anonymous asked: First, I'd probably dance for you. In that new outfit you told me to wear, just for this occasion. I'd whisper sweet nothings to you while slowly caressing your 'bulge'. Slowly sliding off your shades, I'd kiss you so tenderly you'd wake up in cold sweats for the rest of your life. We'd continue with this, until my hands found their way down your pants. We'd...
2 tags
….
i kind of don’t want to post those last two posts from oldbert
1 tag
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
“I know. You’ve said it enough, and it’s not going to fix anything, so you might as well stop saying it.” You really need to change the subject. “So what do you want to do while we hang out with your hooker snow?” Lame as hell and awkwardly phrased, but it’d get the job done.
You can’t help but snort a bit at that. “I dunno. I didn’t have anything...
4 tags
2 tags
[[this John is perfect and he makes me want to cry
TELL ME HOW YOU'D FUCK ME ANONYMOUSLY.
sirlalonde:
femtavy:
ita-chi-uchiha:
darckcarnival:
In vivid detail. If I am too embarrassed you win.
o-OH MY,
Only for the owl I did this
Anonymous asked: Alright, John is in bed, and the oven is off. Now, what did you have in mind, David?
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
“You’d better not. I’d be telling you to fuck off and going hive if you did.” Your hands reach his waist, settling on his sides rather than wrapping all the way around him. That’d do for the moment. At least you were touching him. That was something, right?
Well… It wasn’t really what you wanted, and it left a small achey feeling deep in the pit of your...
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
> You still don’t know how to react, so you don’t. You just sort of shove it down somewhere and decide not to think about it for now. “So…how have you been?”
==> You shrug.
“I’ve been. Missed you. But I don’t blame you for leaving.”
==> After a moment, you just walk over and wrap your arms around him, hoping he wouldn’t push you...
1 tag
brostridersponponweiwei started following you
how do i even react to this
affablematriarch:
turntiergodhead:
affablematriarch:
im free whenever.
k cool
if you come over here you may or may not get beaned with a snowball
don’t say i didn’t warn you
i dont think i can come over im sorry. hnn shit to do yknow.
that’s fine i’ll just go over then if you want
Anonymous asked: hopy shit what else happened????
3 tags
1 tag
6 tags
[[SCREAMS
▲: sup ▼: Nepeta climbed into your room and immediately punched you in the face, knocking you out cold. Upon awakening you found yourself bound and gagged to a chair. Nepeta was naked, standing in front of you with a big Kawaii boner staring you in the face. “>:33 < as the ancient kawaiians used to say…it’s time fur a dicking!” ▲: You stare wide-eyed. Holy shit. What...
affablematriarch:
turntiergodhead:
affablematriarch:
shit yeah man.
you busy now?
karkat’s coming over soon so yeah
but i’m free tomorrow unless he stays over
im free whenever.
k cool
if you come over here you may or may not get beaned with a snowball
don’t say i didn’t warn you
rolls around and growls and hisses
yourpatronsaintofdenial:
meows
suddenly jimmy-cat??
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
> Stop typing at him and get your butt over there. Done and done. Even though you haven’t been looking forward to it, you really do have a quiet moment, so you transport down to his place.
==> You look up when he enters, giving a small smile. You hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever. You want to get up and hug him, hold him close, but you aren’t...
1 tag
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
turntiergodhead:
harrumph
THAT’S AN INTERESTING SOUND.
that’s one way to put it
2 tags
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
turntiergodhead:
hazythreshecutioner:
turntiergodhead:
no actually the plan is to get you to laugh
i can’t actually remember ever hearing it
CAUSE I DON’T MAKE IT A HABIT.
this displeases me
you wouldn’t even laugh for me?
I DON’T LAUGH FOR ANYONE. IF I HAVE REASON TO LAUGH I WILL.
harrumph
3 tags
Say hi to the roleplayer
marionettebassline:
fatherlylockdownmode:
wwrathofthesea:
hi i’m jordan and how the fuck do i good lighting?
hi I’m Skitty and the person above me looks exactly like my friend with shorter hair
hi im kaleb and i have no idea what im doing with my life
[[old picture but IDGAF
[[Hey sup I’m Jack
Anonymous asked: Alright, I'll be right back, David.
affablematriarch asked: i havent uh. done anything...
affablematriarch:
turntiergodhead:
woooooooow
speaking of doing shit we need to hang out at some point because
i love you man
shit yeah man.
you busy now?
karkat’s coming over soon so yeah
but i’m free tomorrow unless he stays over
Anonymous asked: But, he might burn the house down! How about I go and finish the cake, then put him to bed early?
1 tag
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
turntiergodhead:
no actually the plan is to get you to laugh
i can’t actually remember ever hearing it
CAUSE I DON’T MAKE IT A HABIT.
this displeases me
you wouldn’t even laugh for me?
4 tags
[[
▲: hey sup
▼: uHH„sUP,dAVE„
▲: nm sup with you
▼: uMM„jUST„,uHH„,
▼: wELL„,yOU’D PROBABLY„,DEFINITELY„,THINK IT WAS STUPID
Sigh.
1 tag
[[So Rose left
And now I have ” Gazzy, Gamzee’s daughter”.
To which I responded “i thought trolls didnt know their biological parents”
she hasn’t responded yet
Wait, I stand corrected. She dumped me lol
1 tag
Anonymous asked: 5.
2 tags
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
turntiergodhead:
hazythreshecutioner:
turntiergodhead:
CAN I STOP CHOKING FIRST?
what?
I WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THE PART ABOUT HOOKERS.
good. my plan is working.
YOUR PLAN IS TO KILL ME?
no actually the plan is to get you to laugh
i can’t actually remember ever hearing it
1 tag
[[ I missed Trollmegle.
Come to my ask and get to know me
xgussie:
1: Full name 2: Zodiac sign 3: 3 Fears 4: 3 things I love 5: 4 turns on 6: 4 turns off 7: My best friend 8: Sexual orientation 9: My best first date 10: How tall am I 11: What do I miss 12: What time were I born 13: Favourite color 14: Do I have a crush 15: Favourite quote 16: Favourite place 17: Favourite food 18: Do I use sarcasm 19: What am I listening to right now ...
1 tag
hazythreshecutioner replied:
hazythreshecutioner:
turntiergodhead:
CAN I STOP CHOKING FIRST?
what?
I WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THE PART ABOUT HOOKERS.
good. my plan is working.
Anonymous asked: Dave! I'm not sure it's safe for me to leave John alone with an oven and a cake. I don't think he's ready for that kind of responsibility yet!
1 tag
hazythreshecutioner replied:
CAN I STOP CHOKING FIRST?
what?
goddamn it's cold.
it snowed again yesterday. i don’t think i’ll ever get used to it. the guy on the radio called it “heart attack snow”— real heavy and wet so if you’re an old dude trying to shovel out your driveway so the hookers won’t have to walk through the snow you’ll probably have a heart attack from exerting yourself too much.
it was rainy too so it just...